My boyfriend's ex seems to still be missing him. Now at first this sort of pissed me off and scared me because I was unsure if he still had feelings for her or not, but that's not at all a worry for me now. My own insecurities had me questioning that back then, but we've been together almost a year now and we've talked about this subject a bit and it's definitely been made clear how he feels. At this point, I'm just frustrated and I sort of feel sad for her. But I guess I should take it as a compliment, because the guy I'm with is definitely one to be missed. A lot of what she's done was just to see if he really cared about her. But I really think this girl has got to be crazy to think he never cared about her...seriously. After everything she's done to him at this point he could have long ago kicked her to the curb but he isn't that kind of person no matter how mean someone is to him. He hates losing people, so to have them in any way he can, even if through an estranged friendship, he feels it's better than having lost them forever, or having been mean to them by cutting off contact. This is one of those qualities I admire about him. If you only knew the half of what we've been through with this girl. But what she's done doesn't really matter, that's not what I'm here to talk about.
What I want to say is that I don't hate her...I just don't want her to be mean to him anymore and I don't want her to be sad. He's my whole world and just because things didn't work out between them doesn't make it the end of her world. I just don't understand why girls do that to themselves...sit around and pine over the guy they can't have rather than standing up, shaking it off and getting out there to find an even better one. I am a true believer in the quote that everything happens for a reason. Seriously, I live by this.
Let me give you an example. I was in a relationship for 5 and a half years with the same guy. He was my first love, my high school sweetheart, my everything. We were even engaged. Well somewhere along the way we grew apart and things just didn't work out in the end. For a while I sat around like it was the end of the world, and I was so angry with him for how he'd hurt me. But then I realized something... if that was what my life was meant to be like then it would be, but since that door was closed then there must be some new path for me. This helped me see how unhappy I had been with him, but it also helped me let go of my hate towards him and allowed me to remember that we shared some really amazing times together. I really did love him, but he was not the love of my life. God closed that door for me, and I was okay with that. I truly believe that all this happened because there was something better meant for me, someone who would make me much happier and who I could make happier too. I have grown so much since this relationship and it really allowed me to come to love and respect myself much more so that I could one day allow someone else to come into my life.
Sometimes when the door of one chapter closes you just have to search for your new path. Sometimes it's another door, sometimes a window, and sometimes you might have to break down a few walls to see your path more clearly. Either way there is something better waiting for you down your new path and that means you have to let go of what you're leaving behind. Stop reading the previous chapter and move ahead to write your new one, and then just keep moving. You might not find it right away, I know I didn't, but just don't give up.
In my new chapter, I found Shannon, or really he found me, about a year and a half after my breakup with my ex. I never thought in a million years I would meet someone as amazing as he is. Someone who gives me butterflies every time he kisses me, someone who makes my heart race, and my soul sing with joy. He lights up my whole life and I love him more than I ever thought possible.
So for all of you who don't believe you can ever find another great love after your first love, or even after just a great love in your life recently, just keep moving and keep your head up. Respect and love yourself and you'll find someone who will do the same for you. You'll find someone who will be the song of your heart. Your new chapter is waiting, so just stop looking into the past and start writing your future.
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